Uncle Walt again, dear friends: From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines, Going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me. I inhale … Continue reading of limits and imaginary lines
who’ll stop the rain
I am ready to be my own Voice in my own head. I am ready to be louder than the Voices that have told me so many so many so many lies for so so so long. (Part of being loud is showing up here, I think. I still took a little break. I'll be … Continue reading who’ll stop the rain
okay, but for real this time
This isn't good for me anymore. I am writing myself raw lately, because I am afraid that you will forget about me. (This has always been my biggest fear.) I am double checking my WordPress views and my Facebook likes over and over and over again, because those little thumbs up's and little hearts feel so … Continue reading okay, but for real this time
leaving hogwarts
Lately I've been listening to a lot of John Williams' music for the Harry Potter movies, specifically the end track to Sorcerer's Stone: "Leaving Hogwarts." (Okay, my sweet fellow Puffs. I know you're worried and you're soft, and I love you. Put a snack in your backpack, because it's time for us to go.) I'm still a big … Continue reading leaving hogwarts
hare
This piece was originally written for and performed at Write Club Atlanta on March 11, 2020. Fuck, I have to do this fast. I couldn’t find a seat near an outlet at this coffee shop, and my laptop is super old and I can’t charge it, so there’s no telling if I have even an … Continue reading hare
but in dreams/i can hear your name, or: kind of a story about lemon cake
5 From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines (Guys, fuck: is this my book?! In which a pretentious cream puff works their way through Whitman's collected works? Fuck. ... Would you buy it?) Alright. Let's do this again: Fuck, guys. This needs to be it for a while. I need … Continue reading but in dreams/i can hear your name, or: kind of a story about lemon cake
in which the writer is loving aziraphale too much to fall asleep
So, I have some new stretch marks. (I fucking get it, Universe, thank you very much.) On the top of my left thigh, stripes of red stand out against older lines of faded white. So, I am thinking of Aziraphale tonight. I have this great candle from Etsy right now. It smells like "old bookshops … Continue reading in which the writer is loving aziraphale too much to fall asleep
of unreturn’d love
Sometimes with one I love I fill myself with rage for fear I effuse unreturn’d love, But now I think there is no unreturn’d love, the pay is certain one way or another (I loved a certain person ardently and my love was not return’d, Yet out of that I have written these songs). (Uncle … Continue reading of unreturn’d love
not today
You know what? I do not think I am getting out of bed today. And I am working on believing that this course of action does not make me weak. No. This decision means that I am actually quite strong. Means that I am willing to get ready to go another round. Today I need … Continue reading not today
once again, fuck this noise, or: (i am supposed to be revising)
But I cannot focus. I went through all the pre-writing rituals. My room is nice and clean, I have made my tea, my candle is lit, I am comfy and safe and I have nowhere else to be, nothing else to do. But I cannot focus. This is a theme lately. I cannot get through a … Continue reading once again, fuck this noise, or: (i am supposed to be revising)
’til the spire: a review/complete nervous breakdown
Spoiler alerts for Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge, and content warning for suicidal ideation. *** My journey to Batuu was not an easy one. Wednesday. I just want to die. I feel guilty and miserable and I hate myself so much. You're a bad, selfish person, I tell myself over and over and over again, and it just … Continue reading ’til the spire: a review/complete nervous breakdown
on the (galaxy’s) edge
Okay, so I've had too much coffee to focus on this Good Omens fanfiction that I SUPER NEED TO START ACTUALLY WRITING. COME ON, DANI. But I got to sleep in this morning, and I am a little wrecked right now, and there's Oreo creamer in my coffee, so LET'S TALK ABOUT STAR WARS. Because, honestly, Team? … Continue reading on the (galaxy’s) edge
