i’m gay: (just a little thing)

Sort of like a poem, really. Originally posted to Patreon on Halloween 2020:

I have spoken it before with uncertainty and fear.

Um, I think I might be gay?

I have spoken it as an in-advance apology, still figuring things out.

I’m really worried I might just be gay.

I have whispered it joyfully into pockets of the Internet where I felt wholly accepted, whatever oddness about me be damned.

Is it gay yearning o’clock again? Let’s go!!

Today, on the corner of Euclid and Moreland, I thought it to myself (I don’t know why) simply and peacefully:

I’m gay.

Not with any particular sort of gender euphoria accompanied, but a particular sort of Dani euphoria. I don’t fit into my boy clothes right now, so I didn’t try. Just slipped on the polka dot dress, the white button-up, and the Frankenstein scarf, because it felt comfortable and cute. I put some make-up on my face, because it was fun to do and I did not worry that it somehow made me invalid. I fluffed my short angel-hair and felt something like calm in my non-binary body.

Halloween, for better and for worse, is always when I feel most like myself. I’m not in a costume today, but I’m terribly grateful for the suggestions of the time.

Wear whatever the hell you want, even if it sort of scares you.

Let’s eat some candy and watch some spooky movies, friends. Today and every day, let’s be ourselves.

(Having a good ol’ time over here? Check me out on Patreon!)

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