(this is what it is, i think:) my heart feels like there's a crack in it. (barf. sorry.) i feel broken, do you know how that feels? do you know how it feels to believe there is something wrong with the very foundation of you? that this thing- this thing that hurts, that bites- goes … Continue reading trying to explain (kind of like a poem)
Author: Dani
blogging for when you need to stave off a nervous breakdown
(I know it's late. I've just had Dr. Pepper this time, I promise.) Tonight was going to be super cool. Last month I bought not just a ticket, but a VIP TICKET to see Patton Oswalt- my favorite comedian- on a livestream show. How awesome, right?! The chance to see my favorite comic for the … Continue reading blogging for when you need to stave off a nervous breakdown
trans-speare: THE VIDEO
So, I'm trying a thing, friends! On Shot Days, I'm recording a little video of myself rambling about feelings and reciting some Shakespeare. Please enjoy the first two monologues! https://youtu.be/0bnMmMZB9EE https://youtu.be/f09N5Rwl188
the truth is not cowardice
CW for trauma and suicidal ideation. Go gently, good hearts. I remember almost everything about the day I met the first person I ever loved. It was my second or third rehearsal with the Georgia Renaissance Festival and I was sixteen and excited out of my mind to be PROFESSIONALLY ACTING and I was only … Continue reading the truth is not cowardice
12:32 after valentine’s day
12:32 am, and I do not know how to be awake at this hour and so I am sopping up the dragonberry rum with leftover potatoes and vegetarian gravy. (There is also cheese and hot sauce, I am not a monster.) 33 minutes after Valentine's Day and I am full and I am loved, I … Continue reading 12:32 after valentine’s day
big kid, you are beautiful
CW: Internalized fatphobia ahead. Guard your hearts, you angel creature. Long story short: I couldn't go back to volunteering at the aquarium this morning because I don't have any black pants that fit me anymore. And it's hard to not feel like some moral failure over that stupid fact. It's hard not to feel like … Continue reading big kid, you are beautiful
I GET KNOCKED DOWN
Y'all, sometimes I feel like all I do is apply for things. Jobs, grad schools, international theme park performance contracts... It's like I'm always on the hunt, you know? Here's the thing: I have two jobs already. I'm mildly financially secure. (I can pay my rent at least, you know?) I went to school once … Continue reading I GET KNOCKED DOWN
i want to talk some more about rocketman
(Mostly because I need to not watch it for the nine billionth time right now. I need to go to bed. Sir Elton help me.) I think what I like so much about Rocketman is how unapologetic it is in its earnestness. In its strange, campy, sparkly sincerity. When the vision of baby-Reggie asks rehab-Elton … Continue reading i want to talk some more about rocketman
a happy place
This afternoon, in Sunday DBT group, we were asked again to close our eyes and go to "our happy place." For the past however many weeks, I have ended up at the exact same place. (Except for a cry-worthy disaster during Week One, but we don't need to get into that.) And that Exact Same … Continue reading a happy place
star tours feels or: a super secret sneak peek AT SOMETHING COOL
The World you have entered was created by The Walt Disney Company and is dedicated to Hollywood—not a place on a map, but a state of mind that exists wherever people dream and wonder and imagine, a place where illusion and reality are fused by technological magic. We welcome you to a Hollywood that never … Continue reading star tours feels or: a super secret sneak peek AT SOMETHING COOL
on a tuesday evening: a self-portrait
Bitten down, chipped teal nails, shaking slightly (always) against the keys, against the Spotify app, against the mug of cocoa. (with the big marshmallows) A set of long Muppet-arms, patchy and dry, because I do not fucking understand how to appropriately moisturize. (A foul mouth, apparently. Fuck. Fucking fucking fuck. It's just a satisfying angry … Continue reading on a tuesday evening: a self-portrait
then you say “go slow”
(I can't.) Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of youCaught up in circlesConfusion is nothing new I feel sometimes like I am running out of things to say: (Hello again. My name is Dani, still, I think. You can also call me Daniel. I love Star Wars and I write … Continue reading then you say “go slow”
