thank you, carrie

Throughout the winter of 2016, my brain had the capacity to obsess over exactly two things: mental health and Star Wars. In late November, I was unable to anticipate anything that wasn’t either opening night of Rogue One or my first appointment with a psychiatrist. Here was the timeline. On Wednesday November 30, I performedContinue reading “thank you, carrie”

moar coffee pics, plz

Yesterday on the #2 bus, two older dudes sitting behind me started talking about social media. “I don’t get it. People make all these posts, and it’s like… who gives a shit?” All the typical curmudgeonly points were hit. I hung on their every word, hoping to overhear a particularly dumb morsel of opinion thatContinue reading “moar coffee pics, plz”

“let the sun shine in”

Every Friday morning, I volunteer at the aquarium.┬áThere’s a little, under-the-weather pancake tortoise currently hanging out in the treatment room where I collect water samples. Besides his habitat, there’s a little sign that reads, “Medication: Sunshine.” I would kill for that prescription. Right now I take one, decent-sized pill every morning. I have no ideaContinue reading ““let the sun shine in””

adventures in self-care, vol 1.

Yesterday I took myself out on a date. Nice Voice waltzed into the room out of nowhere, all dashing and electric. “Darling!” She cried. “Put on something nice. I’m going to take you out for an afternoon on the town!” When Nice Voice rolls into town, she’s pretty hard to resist. She’s just so… well,Continue reading “adventures in self-care, vol 1.”

a love letter for a monster

My Netflix show right now is Penny Dreadful. I’m a few episodes into the third season, and I’m already sad that my time with my new spooky pals is so close to the end. I’ve always loved a good ensemble series; it makes me so happy to be the spectator to fictional friend groups. FromContinue reading “a love letter for a monster”

the show goes ever on and on: a nerd’s case for the oscars

In keeping with my resolution to spend time among things that made me really happy before I started to doubt and dislike myself, I’m really stoked about the Oscars this year. When I was a kid, staying awake to watch the Academy Awards was one of my favorite nights of the year. By middle school,Continue reading “the show goes ever on and on: a nerd’s case for the oscars”

searching for myself in all the nerd places

My favorite game is “Who Are We In This Franchise?” “Okay, guys, who would we all be in Harry Potter?” “Which Pixar movie is everyone?” “Who is everyone in our office in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?” “Who Are We In This Franchise?” has rules. You can’t say what character you think you are; that hasContinue reading “searching for myself in all the nerd places”

video essay: “hope is the thing with lightsabers”

So, here’s the essay that inspired the creation of this blog, as well as gave it its name. This essay was first performed onstage at the Highland Inn Ballroom in Atlanta, GA on November 30, 2016. This essay was a part of the awesome live lit show Scene Missing. Thank you to Jason Mallory forContinue reading “video essay: “hope is the thing with lightsabers””

gamma radiation in the paris metro

So, I’ve been on the Therapy Train for a while now. I feel like I’ve got a pretty decent handle on Sadness. I do not know what to do with Anger, however, which is why I am spending my morning drinking coffee and thinking about the Incredible Hulk. Most of what I know about Dr.Continue reading “gamma radiation in the paris metro”

looking on the geeky bright side

It’s been a tough couple of weeks. But I know I’m ultimately pretty lucky. I have a great therapist and a really amazing support network of friends, and I’m going to see the psychiatrist again next week to talk about how this first medication adventure is going. Still, I remain desperate for a quicker fix;Continue reading “looking on the geeky bright side”

… and the philosopher’s mood stabilizer?

I think I feel “okay?” I don’t really know what that means. I think it’s been two weeks since I felt madly, truly, deeply depressed. Or manic. I feel “okay.” Right now I’m sitting at my desk, listening to music and snarfing down a bowl of popcorn, and that feels fine. I could be doingContinue reading “… and the philosopher’s mood stabilizer?”