david bowie & doorframes, or down in the underground indeed, amirite?

I didn’t know until college that girls can masturbate. The possibility had never even occurred to me. As a child, I wasn’t especially curious when it came to the situation between my legs. That’s where pee came from, and that was pretty much that, right? Why would I want to interact with it outside ofContinue reading “david bowie & doorframes, or down in the underground indeed, amirite?”

with a LOT of help from my friends

Yesterday afternoon, I saw IT for the second time. When I saw it on opening weekend, my date was my exceptionally awesome boyfriend. Yesterday, I was joined at the Regal Cinema by two exceptionally awesome friends who are boys. Neither of them had seen IT yet, and it was a nearly empty theatre, so weContinue reading “with a LOT of help from my friends”

life in the upside con

I can’t imagine not feeling at least a little strange after Dragon Con ends each year. Hell, I can’t even go immediately cold turkey off of Mountain Dew once the Con is over; I’m drinking one while I write this. Far moreso than at New Year’s Eve, Dragon Con puts into perspective for me whereContinue reading “life in the upside con”

one girl’s trash is another girl’s treasure, or “hakuna mozzarella”

TW: Self-harm. In the back half of 2011, I was 21, super depressed, sleeping on a mattress without a bed frame, and waiting tables at the local Taco Mac to support my Shakespeare habit. So, this one time, I ate a mozzarella stick from a trash can. It must have been a slower shift atContinue reading “one girl’s trash is another girl’s treasure, or “hakuna mozzarella””

free time stresses me out, or how i learned to stop worrying & ride the movies

I hail from a family of theme park people. If given the opportunity to spend a week in any place on the planet, I feel confident that my clan and I would still end up in Orlando every single time. My dad worked in the amusement park business when my little brother and I wereContinue reading “free time stresses me out, or how i learned to stop worrying & ride the movies”

i am not vivien leigh

Yesterday, with a CVS card loaded up with coupons and a heart loaded up with dreams, I bought some new make-up. I only buy new make-up when I have a show coming up, specifically a show in which I’m playing a role that I’ve decided HAS to be pretty. This Thursday night I’m getting onstageContinue reading “i am not vivien leigh”

achievements great & small

I’m working on re-calibrating my current definition of “enough,” specifically as it applies to my own expectations of myself. On paper, I’m living a life that would make my younger self jump up and down with glee; I work full-time for a professional Shakespeare company, and I still have time almost every week to spendContinue reading “achievements great & small”

on manta rays, helping out, and seeing your own sunshine

My birthday’s coming up, so I’m having a pretty reflective and contemplative week. How did I get here? Where am I going next? Have I done enough at this stage of my life? What would enough even look like? I don’t have answers to any of these questions, and that generally fills me with aContinue reading “on manta rays, helping out, and seeing your own sunshine”

random renaissance reptiles

The Renaissance Festival is where I found myself and where I lost myself. There. That’s the dorkiest sentence I’ve ever written. The foundation of my heart and identity is wrapped up in the turkey leg scented, sun scorched, dusty and gravelly hills of a place out of time. Most of my happiest and saddest stories beginContinue reading “random renaissance reptiles”

please no talking or texting (for real, i’m begging you)

Going to the movies is my favorite thing in the world. From the time I was a little kid seeing Beauty & the Beast with my mom all the way through going to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 for the second time yesterday afternoon, nothing feels more exhilarating to me than going toContinue reading “please no talking or texting (for real, i’m begging you)”

chasing tortoises (and courage) in camden town

At the Camden Town tube station,  a helpful sign promised me that the ZSL London Zoo was somewhere to my right. Three different streets jutted out in a right-ish direction from the station, though, and I still didn’t understand how to figure out which street I was on in London. Which right was the rightContinue reading “chasing tortoises (and courage) in camden town”

thank you, carrie

Throughout the winter of 2016, my brain had the capacity to obsess over exactly two things: mental health and Star Wars. In late November, I was unable to anticipate anything that wasn’t either opening night of Rogue One or my first appointment with a psychiatrist. Here was the timeline. On Wednesday November 30, I performedContinue reading “thank you, carrie”