well, hey, friends! happy tuesday? you okay? you hydrating? (i’m drinking a juice box, they are my favorite.) it occurs to me i’ve been rambling at you for a LONG TIME and maybe you already know everything you need to know about me, but i just wanted the chance to check in: my name isContinue reading “a re-introduction of sorts”
Category Archives: Blog
(non) binary sunset
I’ve been on a low dose of testosterone for nine weeks. And I am so exceedingly grateful that it was an easy process to start. I know that is not the case for everyone. I went through Plume and was met with nothing but trust and belief and well wishing and positivity. So, yeah, nineContinue reading “(non) binary sunset”
but i am having this one
There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one. Kazuo Ishiguro. (because here is the truth of the matter, for better or for worse:) I am probably not going to be accepted into an MFA program this year. It is already March and I have no news and IContinue reading “but i am having this one”
is law & order: svu my favorite show?
(short answer: yes. 100 fucking %) LONG ANSWER: During every period of my life when I have been massively, capital-D DEPRESSED, Law & Order: SVU has been there for me. It started with all those weekend USA marathons. (You know the ones.) The first time I was super Not Okay, I couldn’t sleep in aContinue reading “is law & order: svu my favorite show?”
trying to explain (kind of like a poem)
(this is what it is, i think:) my heart feels like there’s a crack in it. (barf. sorry.) i feel broken, do you know how that feels? do you know how it feels to believe there is something wrong with the very foundation of you? that this thing- this thing that hurts, that bites- goesContinue reading “trying to explain (kind of like a poem)”
blogging for when you need to stave off a nervous breakdown
(I know it’s late. I’ve just had Dr. Pepper this time, I promise.) Tonight was going to be super cool. Last month I bought not just a ticket, but a VIP TICKET to see Patton Oswalt- my favorite comedian- on a livestream show. How awesome, right?! The chance to see my favorite comic for theContinue reading “blogging for when you need to stave off a nervous breakdown”
the truth is not cowardice
CW for trauma and suicidal ideation. Go gently, good hearts. I remember almost everything about the day I met the first person I ever loved. It was my second or third rehearsal with the Georgia Renaissance Festival and I was sixteen and excited out of my mind to be PROFESSIONALLY ACTING and I was onlyContinue reading “the truth is not cowardice”
12:32 after valentine’s day
12:32 am, and I do not know how to be awake at this hour and so I am sopping up the dragonberry rum with leftover potatoes and vegetarian gravy. (There is also cheese and hot sauce, I am not a monster.) 33 minutes after Valentine’s Day and I am full and I am loved, IContinue reading “12:32 after valentine’s day”
big kid, you are beautiful
CW: Internalized fatphobia ahead. Guard your hearts, you angel creature. Long story short: I couldn’t go back to volunteering at the aquarium this morning because I don’t have any black pants that fit me anymore. And it’s hard to not feel like some moral failure over that stupid fact. It’s hard not to feel likeContinue reading “big kid, you are beautiful”
I GET KNOCKED DOWN
Y’all, sometimes I feel like all I do is apply for things. Jobs, grad schools, international theme park performance contracts… It’s like I’m always on the hunt, you know? Here’s the thing: I have two jobs already. I’m mildly financially secure. (I can pay my rent at least, you know?) I went to school onceContinue reading “I GET KNOCKED DOWN”
i want to talk some more about rocketman
(Mostly because I need to not watch it for the nine billionth time right now. I need to go to bed. Sir Elton help me.) I think what I like so much about Rocketman is how unapologetic it is in its earnestness. In its strange, campy, sparkly sincerity. When the vision of baby-Reggie asks rehab-EltonContinue reading “i want to talk some more about rocketman”
a happy place
This afternoon, in Sunday DBT group, we were asked again to close our eyes and go to “our happy place.” For the past however many weeks, I have ended up at the exact same place. (Except for a cry-worthy disaster during Week One, but we don’t need to get into that.) And that Exact SameContinue reading “a happy place”
