star tours feels or: a super secret sneak peek AT SOMETHING COOL

The World you have entered was created by The Walt Disney Company and is dedicated to Hollywood—not a place on a map, but a state of mind that exists wherever people dream and wonder and imagine, a place where illusion and reality are fused by technological magic. We welcome you to a Hollywood that neverContinue reading “star tours feels or: a super secret sneak peek AT SOMETHING COOL”

on a tuesday evening: a self-portrait

Bitten down, chipped teal nails, shaking slightly (always) against the keys, against the Spotify app, against the mug of cocoa. (with the big marshmallows) A set of long Muppet-arms, patchy and dry, because I do not fucking understand how to appropriately moisturize. (A foul mouth, apparently. Fuck. Fucking fucking fuck. It’s just a satisfying angryContinue reading “on a tuesday evening: a self-portrait”

i am not throwing away my shots (i think)

Y’all, I’m going to be totally honest: I’m not convinced I did my shot correctly last week and I AM STRESSED ABOUT IT. I’m looking forward to the day my hands don’t shake and my heart doesn’t race. When I don’t wince at all the fresh, red stretchmarks on my belly and just accept myContinue reading “i am not throwing away my shots (i think)”

january 2021 bi, bi, non-bi: stroll into the sunshine

Be forewarned: Parts of this are gross. Love y’all! Happy January Halloween, everybody! Last Halloween was supposed to be my first ever expedition to Universal Studios’ famous Halloween Horror Nights, but, of course, that didn’t quite work out as intended. So, in honor of my dead and decaying dreams, here’s a bunch of nonsense aboutContinue reading “january 2021 bi, bi, non-bi: stroll into the sunshine”

radical acceptance and spider-man

At my last full-time job, one of my dearest co-workers and I used to spend HOURS debating whom everyone on our goofy little staff was within the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And guys, it mattered SO MUCH TO ME. While my friend Andy was inarguably Iron Man from day one, my MCU role was always inContinue reading “radical acceptance and spider-man”

rey (ben), these are your first steps.

I am having all these dreams since the appointment. Sometimes I have the opportunity to say out loud “I am transgender” to my late grandmother and she just hugs me. Sometimes my face contorts in the mirror before my eyes and I look as handsome as Adam Driver. Sometimes I am brave and truly whollyContinue reading “rey (ben), these are your first steps.”

leaving hogwarts, part III

(because the song is playing on my Wrapped playlist again and I never have the heart to skip it. thank you, mr. williams.) Here is what no one can take away from me: (No, not those who actively seek to drain me nor those who just unknowingly leech my sparkle.) I am a Hufflepuff. ThatContinue reading “leaving hogwarts, part III”

i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)

CW: struggles with internalized transphobia and low body image. I feel fucking exhausted. My stomach hurts and I feel fucking exhausted. I know I said I wasn’t going to do this again for a little while, but when have I ever been the model of restraint? Things hurt today and I want to get itContinue reading “i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)”