i have often dreamed…

So, runDisney is officially moving the 2021 Walt Disney World Marathon to a virtual event, which, yeah, is the correct choice. And I have the option to get my money back and all good things. But, honestly, I’m pretty gutted. Which is weird, because I haven’t been running. I was supposed to re-start my trainingContinue reading “i have often dreamed…”

i don’t know. i was just sad. (volume: again)

(I don’t always know what these are anymore. Maybe something closer to a poem:) (For you, Uncle Walt, I suppose. And for you. You know that, right? We don’t have to talk about it.) The simple truth is that it hurts. It hurts all the time. I’m okay today. Listening to Disney songs, sitting onContinue reading “i don’t know. i was just sad. (volume: again)”

the queer kid power of nicknames

In high school drama, my nickname was “Hero.” I didn’t really earn it in any meaningful way. Our teacher called attendance that first morning of ninth grade with the instructions: “And if you want to be called by another name… if you want to be, I don’t know, Hero or something…” So, when he calledContinue reading “the queer kid power of nicknames”

these are your first steps (again)

Hey, remember that time I was supposed to be training for my first marathon? Yeah. So, here’s the thing: I’m still sad. As I’ve mentioned before, I really thought I’d be “fine” by June, the starting month of my original training plan. But I wasn’t. And I’m still kind of not? But I am better.Continue reading “these are your first steps (again)”

happy belated national roller coaster day

Apparently, August 16 was National Roller Coaster Day. My favorite roller coaster is The Hulk at Universal’s Islands of Adventure. I like how there’s barely any time to panic, because you get shot into the first drop so fast. This perhaps will not surprise you about me, but I enjoy not having time to panic.Continue reading “happy belated national roller coaster day”

the decision jar, adventure #1

Yesterday one of my best friends gifted me a magical jar. It is an ordinary (seemingly) mason jar which she’d decorated with yellow ribbon and pretty scrapbooking paper. Inside it there are more scraps of neatly folded pretty paper. I’ve written before about how much I’m struggling with, “Oh, dear God, what should I do?!”Continue reading “the decision jar, adventure #1”

i don’t always know what this is.

Some days it feels like this is all I remember how to do. To start crying from that place of aching emptiness, from the most pitiful pity parties every thrown on this green Earth. I start crying and then I come here to tell you about it. I can’t stop telling you. I know IContinue reading “i don’t always know what this is.”