CW: Being a fucking idiot. (specifically regarding medication) I love you. Go gently. So, I ran out of my meds... I don't remember when.* *I'M FIXING THIS TOMORROW, I ABSOLUTELY PROMISE. I KNOW THIS IS BAD.* It's been over a week. Sometimes I get stubborn about them, see. I don't want them. I don't want … Continue reading i’m tired (again, part two? i don’t remember)
bipolar disorder
happy belated national roller coaster day
Apparently, August 16 was National Roller Coaster Day. My favorite roller coaster is The Hulk at Universal's Islands of Adventure. I like how there's barely any time to panic, because you get shot into the first drop so fast. This perhaps will not surprise you about me, but I enjoy not having time to panic. … Continue reading happy belated national roller coaster day
of (always) haircuts and mental illness
I've written before about my hair as sort of an homage to the characters/people who mean the most to me. Most recently, my hair was a white-blonde, fluffy homage to my deeply beloved Aziraphale of Good Omens. I wanted it to be real, you see. I always want it to be Real: this being anyone but … Continue reading of (always) haircuts and mental illness
july bi, bi, non-bi: here we go again
(I never know if this thing is a declaration or a confessional.) (What I might say to you:) Bi #1: Let me get you caught up. In 2016, I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I have to remind myself all the time that it is an Illness, and not a … Continue reading july bi, bi, non-bi: here we go again
won’t resent, won’t despair
CW: Depression, and where it goes sometimes. Be safe, friends. Today was a Good Day. I put on my mask and washed my hands and picked up nice coffee and pastries with my good, good roommate. I ate those pastries and drank that coffee while I looked at a dear friend's face and heard a … Continue reading won’t resent, won’t despair
the validation monster
CW: Self-hatred. This one was hard. Go with caution, my friend. I do not feel like anything today. I feel like I am floating just outside of my body. I am struggling to recognize anything about myself, because who ever was I? I am struggling to recognize these blue-grey eyes, always nearly aching from some … Continue reading the validation monster
bi, bi, non-bi: the april b-side
(I am lucky enough to have a monthly segment with The Come Up Show Atl. It's called "bi, bi, non-bi," and is basically a check-in of where I'm at in my bipolar, bisexual (?!), non-binary adventures. What follows is the piece I didn't read at April's show. Thanks for being here.) Hey! I made you … Continue reading bi, bi, non-bi: the april b-side
i’m not ready, or: ben solo deserved better, or: yes, i’m still upset about this
Let me be upfront: I only saw Rise of Skywalker once. Because I really, really hated it. (So, forgive me if I do not eloquently cite my sources here, okay? Okay.) But, today, I find myself Google-ing, "When can I watch Rise of Skywalker on Disney+?" DAMN YOU, MOUSE. Because, OKAY, FINE. There were a few moments I liked, … Continue reading i’m not ready, or: ben solo deserved better, or: yes, i’m still upset about this
hare
This piece was originally written for and performed at Write Club Atlanta on March 11, 2020. Fuck, I have to do this fast. I couldn’t find a seat near an outlet at this coffee shop, and my laptop is super old and I can’t charge it, so there’s no telling if I have even an … Continue reading hare
once again, fuck this noise, or: (i am supposed to be revising)
But I cannot focus. I went through all the pre-writing rituals. My room is nice and clean, I have made my tea, my candle is lit, I am comfy and safe and I have nowhere else to be, nothing else to do. But I cannot focus. This is a theme lately. I cannot get through a … Continue reading once again, fuck this noise, or: (i am supposed to be revising)
i don’t know. i’m sad.
Breathe. This is what I write to myself in my planner lately: Run (ha, sure, we'll see, you sad sack), find a job, figure out your fucking shit, get yourself together, stop being such a waste of space, STOP BEING A FUCKING FAILURE, YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT. Breathe. I cannot. I think I might be … Continue reading i don’t know. i’m sad.
bi, bi, non-bi: january woes, or the one with ALL THE PROFANITY
CW: This piece deals with self-harm and just general being a mess. If that isn't your heart's jam right now, I understand if you need to go take a break. Greetings, fellow cool kids. My name is Dani, and I am bipolar, bisexual, and non-binary, aka bi, bi, non-bi. These are my adventures. Prologue: Y’all, … Continue reading bi, bi, non-bi: january woes, or the one with ALL THE PROFANITY
