i used to run (have i already used that title? probably)

So, I had a panic attack in the parking lot of the Big Peach Running Co. today. I felt it bubbling all day, grinding and scraping away at my bones, my stomach lining, my fucking scalp. I feel so fucking angry. I want to cry, punch someone, and drink a milkshake, order negotiable. So, IContinue reading “i used to run (have i already used that title? probably)”

the blues ARE still blue

(thanks, belle & sebastian.) It feels like my words have dried up lately. On vacation last week, I was so excited by the prospect of HOTEL WRITING. Of jaunting off to the next door fancier resort, procuring an iced coffee, and scribbling out 1000 words before Hollywood Studios even OPENED. That was the dream. ItContinue reading “the blues ARE still blue”

but your dreams may not

It’s not time to make a changeJust relax, take it slowlyYou’re still young, that’s your faultThere’s so much you have to go through Can’t relax. Can’t take it slowly, THAT’S my fault. Okay, new plan, Team. (If you can stand it. I know I’m a lot:) I’ve been really, really low since the summer ofContinue reading “but your dreams may not”

is law & order: svu my favorite show?

(short answer: yes. 100 fucking %) LONG ANSWER: During every period of my life when I have been massively, capital-D DEPRESSED, Law & Order: SVU has been there for me. It started with all those weekend USA marathons. (You know the ones.) The first time I was super Not Okay, I couldn’t sleep in aContinue reading “is law & order: svu my favorite show?”

trying to explain (kind of like a poem)

(this is what it is, i think:) my heart feels like there’s a crack in it. (barf. sorry.) i feel broken, do you know how that feels? do you know how it feels to believe there is something wrong with the very foundation of you? that this thing- this thing that hurts, that bites- goesContinue reading “trying to explain (kind of like a poem)”

blogging for when you need to stave off a nervous breakdown

(I know it’s late. I’ve just had Dr. Pepper this time, I promise.) Tonight was going to be super cool. Last month I bought not just a ticket, but a VIP TICKET to see Patton Oswalt- my favorite comedian- on a livestream show. How awesome, right?! The chance to see my favorite comic for theContinue reading “blogging for when you need to stave off a nervous breakdown”

on a tuesday evening: a self-portrait

Bitten down, chipped teal nails, shaking slightly (always) against the keys, against the Spotify app, against the mug of cocoa. (with the big marshmallows) A set of long Muppet-arms, patchy and dry, because I do not fucking understand how to appropriately moisturize. (A foul mouth, apparently. Fuck. Fucking fucking fuck. It’s just a satisfying angryContinue reading “on a tuesday evening: a self-portrait”