on a tuesday evening: a self-portrait

Bitten down, chipped teal nails, shaking slightly (always) against the keys, against the Spotify app, against the mug of cocoa. (with the big marshmallows) A set of long Muppet-arms, patchy and dry, because I do not fucking understand how to appropriately moisturize. (A foul mouth, apparently. Fuck. Fucking fucking fuck. It’s just a satisfying angryContinue reading “on a tuesday evening: a self-portrait”

radical acceptance and spider-man

At my last full-time job, one of my dearest co-workers and I used to spend HOURS debating whom everyone on our goofy little staff was within the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And guys, it mattered SO MUCH TO ME. While my friend Andy was inarguably Iron Man from day one, my MCU role was always inContinue reading “radical acceptance and spider-man”

rey (ben), these are your first steps.

I am having all these dreams since the appointment. Sometimes I have the opportunity to say out loud “I am transgender” to my late grandmother and she just hugs me. Sometimes my face contorts in the mirror before my eyes and I look as handsome as Adam Driver. Sometimes I am brave and truly whollyContinue reading “rey (ben), these are your first steps.”

leaving hogwarts, part III

(because the song is playing on my Wrapped playlist again and I never have the heart to skip it. thank you, mr. williams.) Here is what no one can take away from me: (No, not those who actively seek to drain me nor those who just unknowingly leech my sparkle.) I am a Hufflepuff. ThatContinue reading “leaving hogwarts, part III”

i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)

CW: struggles with internalized transphobia and low body image. I feel fucking exhausted. My stomach hurts and I feel fucking exhausted. I know I said I wasn’t going to do this again for a little while, but when have I ever been the model of restraint? Things hurt today and I want to get itContinue reading “i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)”

that shines from you (i’ve probably already used that as a title, haven’t it? dammit, dani)

The plays (for now!) are done! Nothing to write but blogs and fics and grad school essays! How am I coping, you might be wondering? Well, I’ve watched Rocketman three nights in a row, for a starter. Here’s the thing: I just… fucking love this movie. I never expected it to hit me the wayContinue reading “that shines from you (i’ve probably already used that as a title, haven’t it? dammit, dani)”

a promise lives within you now

May it be an evening starShines down upon youMay it be when darkness fallsYour heart will be trueYou walk a lonely roadOh, how far you are from home I think the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life was when I was in middle school and discovering The Lord of the Rings for theContinue reading “a promise lives within you now”