(just a moment to dream, thank you:) I wake up not in a hotel in Beaverton, Oregon, but in a super-nerdily decorated apartment in Chicago, Iowa City, New York City, somewhere in Rhode Island… It will just be my apartment, for the first time. (Don’t ask me how I can afford it on a gradContinue reading “christmas 2021: a fantasy”
Tag Archives: FEELINGS
i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)
CW: struggles with internalized transphobia and low body image. I feel fucking exhausted. My stomach hurts and I feel fucking exhausted. I know I said I wasn’t going to do this again for a little while, but when have I ever been the model of restraint? Things hurt today and I want to get itContinue reading “i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)”
dani(el)
(This is the last time for a minute, I promise. I think we’re all ready for a bit of a break.) I don’t know what happens next, but I sure thought about it a lot today. I let myself dream big and loud and happy. I swung for the fucking fences: And now it’s timeContinue reading “dani(el)”
ten minute ramble, just to see
10 minutes on the clock. What comes out? First of all, my pants feel too fucking tight and I’m annoyed about it and if anyone in January puts pressure on me to lose my quarantine weight, I will throw them off a bridge, ARE WE CLEAR? Marine mammals have blubber to keep them warm, toContinue reading “ten minute ramble, just to see”
that shines from you (i’ve probably already used that as a title, haven’t it? dammit, dani)
The plays (for now!) are done! Nothing to write but blogs and fics and grad school essays! How am I coping, you might be wondering? Well, I’ve watched Rocketman three nights in a row, for a starter. Here’s the thing: I just… fucking love this movie. I never expected it to hit me the wayContinue reading “that shines from you (i’ve probably already used that as a title, haven’t it? dammit, dani)”
a promise lives within you now
May it be an evening starShines down upon youMay it be when darkness fallsYour heart will be trueYou walk a lonely roadOh, how far you are from home I think the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life was when I was in middle school and discovering The Lord of the Rings for theContinue reading “a promise lives within you now”
breaking down my current spotify “on repeat” playlist
Happy Sunday! I’m trying to get you to give me money, so let’s get to know each other a little better, shall we? My musical taste is that of a fantastical nightmare creature. Enjoy these selections from my Spotify “On Repeat” playlist: “Break My Stride” – Matthew Wilder Y’all, I DO NOT KNOW. I wokeContinue reading “breaking down my current spotify “on repeat” playlist”
queer-simodo
(Title courtesy of my dear friend Kati Grace.) Hello, I am intoxicated and I can’t stop watching Todrick Hall’s “CinderFella”from 2012. My name is Dani and I am gay. (I don’t know everything that means yet. I am trying.) When I was in high school, I loved my best friend and didn’t know what toContinue reading “queer-simodo”
september bi, bi, non-bi: and i think it’s gonna be a long, long time OR: fuck you, j.k. rowling
Originally performed for The Come Up Show ATL’s birthday show on Friday September 25, 2020. CW: internalized transphobia and mention of She Who Must Not Be Named. Guard your beautiful heart. Non-bi, and only non-bi this month: Related to absolutely nothing: it’s Mark Hamill’s birthday today and I want to raise a glass for aContinue reading “september bi, bi, non-bi: and i think it’s gonna be a long, long time OR: fuck you, j.k. rowling”
hallelujah, by and by:
So, it seems increasingly likely The Thing isn’t going to happen. (Okay, we can talk about it: honestly, I was trying to skip town and perform at an international theme park for a year. I am nothing if not terribly predictable.) I am contending now with the reality of staying. Of moving forward even ifContinue reading “hallelujah, by and by:”
the queer kid power of nicknames
In high school drama, my nickname was “Hero.” I didn’t really earn it in any meaningful way. Our teacher called attendance that first morning of ninth grade with the instructions: “And if you want to be called by another name… if you want to be, I don’t know, Hero or something…” So, when he calledContinue reading “the queer kid power of nicknames”
sundays and forever
Sunday morning: Wake up with a headache. Feed the cat. Make the bed. Order a bagel (again). Do all the dishes by hand. Twitch nervously at the keyboard. Get sad. (Always, it seems, I’m so fucking sorry.) Put on the theme to Jurassic Park (again) and try to feel something good. It is just now 10 am.Continue reading “sundays and forever”
