these are your first steps (again)

Hey, remember that time I was supposed to be training for my first marathon? Yeah. So, here’s the thing: I’m still sad. As I’ve mentioned before, I really thought I’d be “fine” by June, the starting month of my original training plan. But I wasn’t. And I’m still kind of not? But I am better.Continue reading “these are your first steps (again)”

the decision jar, adventure #1

Yesterday one of my best friends gifted me a magical jar. It is an ordinary (seemingly) mason jar which she’d decorated with yellow ribbon and pretty scrapbooking paper. Inside it there are more scraps of neatly folded pretty paper. I’ve written before about how much I’m struggling with, “Oh, dear God, what should I do?!”Continue reading “the decision jar, adventure #1”

surprise, surprise; some stuff about depression

I judge myself a lot lately for writing here as frequently as I do. I don’t feel as though I have anything new or exciting or particularly thoughtful to express. I used to think this blog was going to be the beginning of my pathway to writing for io9 or some other cool online nerdContinue reading “surprise, surprise; some stuff about depression”

of (always) haircuts and mental illness

I’ve written before about my hair as sort of an homage to the characters/people who mean the most to me. Most recently, my hair was a white-blonde, fluffy homage to my deeply beloved Aziraphale of Good Omens.  I wanted it to be real, you see. I always want it to be Real: this being anyone butContinue reading “of (always) haircuts and mental illness”

just a little california dreaming

For we cannot tarry here, We must march my darlings, we must bear the brunt of danger, Except we must tarry here a little while longer, mustn’t we? My darlings. Tell me where you’re going next, and Next, please. (Tell me something, anything. You’re still out there, right?) next, I am going to go outside,Continue reading “just a little california dreaming”

but seriously, who will stop the rain (but the asia song this time)

What do you miss? I miss less than I expected, and I hesitate to characterize this thought as “comforting,” but also… I am learning about myself. Learning that, here at nearly 31, I hardly know anything, really. For example, I do not miss waiting on the bus in the rain, do not miss being splatteredContinue reading “but seriously, who will stop the rain (but the asia song this time)”