CW for trauma and suicidal ideation. Go gently, good hearts. I remember almost everything about the day I met the first person I ever loved. It was my second or third rehearsal with the Georgia Renaissance Festival and I was sixteen and excited out of my mind to be PROFESSIONALLY ACTING and I was only … Continue reading the truth is not cowardice
love
12:32 after valentine’s day
12:32 am, and I do not know how to be awake at this hour and so I am sopping up the dragonberry rum with leftover potatoes and vegetarian gravy. (There is also cheese and hot sauce, I am not a monster.) 33 minutes after Valentine's Day and I am full and I am loved, I … Continue reading 12:32 after valentine’s day
a happy place
This afternoon, in Sunday DBT group, we were asked again to close our eyes and go to "our happy place." For the past however many weeks, I have ended up at the exact same place. (Except for a cry-worthy disaster during Week One, but we don't need to get into that.) And that Exact Same … Continue reading a happy place
hallelujah, by and by:
So, it seems increasingly likely The Thing isn't going to happen. (Okay, we can talk about it: honestly, I was trying to skip town and perform at an international theme park for a year. I am nothing if not terribly predictable.) I am contending now with the reality of staying. Of moving forward even if … Continue reading hallelujah, by and by:
and what’s on the other side
Perhaps unsurprisingly, I am thinking about frogs today. And not just Kermit, but we'll get to him. (Always.) No, I am mostly and vainly thinking of myself for the past nearly seven months. I've been saying for a long time that I feel like I've been having a months-long panic attack that began on Monday … Continue reading and what’s on the other side
of unreturn’d love
Sometimes with one I love I fill myself with rage for fear I effuse unreturn’d love, But now I think there is no unreturn’d love, the pay is certain one way or another (I loved a certain person ardently and my love was not return’d, Yet out of that I have written these songs). (Uncle … Continue reading of unreturn’d love
