i’m tired (again, part two? i don’t remember)

CW: Being a fucking idiot. (specifically regarding medication) I love you. Go gently. So, I ran out of my meds… I don’t remember when.* *I’M FIXING THIS TOMORROW, I ABSOLUTELY PROMISE. I KNOW THIS IS BAD.* It’s been over a week. Sometimes I get stubborn about them, see. I don’t want them. I don’t wantContinue reading “i’m tired (again, part two? i don’t remember)”

once again, fuck this noise, or: (i am supposed to be revising)

But I cannot focus. I went through all the pre-writing rituals. My room is nice and clean, I have made my tea, my candle is lit, I am comfy and safe and I have nowhere else to be, nothing else to do. But I cannot focus. This is a theme lately. I cannot get through aContinue reading “once again, fuck this noise, or: (i am supposed to be revising)”

’til the spire: a review/complete nervous breakdown

Spoiler alerts for Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, and content warning for suicidal ideation. *** My journey to Batuu was not an easy one. Wednesday. I just want to die. I feel guilty and miserable and I hate myself so much. You’re a bad, selfish person, I tell myself over and over and over again, and it justContinue reading “’til the spire: a review/complete nervous breakdown”

it’s still the same old story… (or: as usual, go to hell, bipolar disorder, okay?)

And it is an old refrain, to be sure: They are just around because they feel sorry for you. They are around because they are worried that you’re going to hurt yourself if you’re alone. They do not enjoy you. They do not love you. You are a burden.  (You said that to me once. IContinue reading “it’s still the same old story… (or: as usual, go to hell, bipolar disorder, okay?)”

bi, bi, non-bi: december feels, and oh, look, i’m talking about walt whitman again

This piece originally performed at The Come Up Show ATL on December 20, 2019.  Greetings, fellow cool kids. So, my name is Dani Herd, and I am bipolar, bisexual, and non-binary, aka “bi, bi, non-bi.” These are my adventures.  Bi #1: I’ve known about the bipolar II the longest. This month is actually the threeContinue reading “bi, bi, non-bi: december feels, and oh, look, i’m talking about walt whitman again”

are you ready, kids? NO. or: maybe the krusty krab pizza IS the pizza for you and me

According to Spotify, the very first song I listened to in 2018 was “Bikini Bottom Day” from the SpongeBob SquarePants musical. Jump out of bed Mix up a breakfast for my favorite pet snail Full steam ahead The S.S. I Am Ready is about to set sail Once upon a time in college, I went with myContinue reading “are you ready, kids? NO. or: maybe the krusty krab pizza IS the pizza for you and me”

monster angst and pumpkin coffee

“Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous.” Everything was sunshine when I first felt the Monster rumble underneath my skin. It’s a glorious morning– warm enough for iced coffee, but October enough for some pumpkin syrup. And there’s a nice breeze in the air and the sun is out and nothing is wrongContinue reading “monster angst and pumpkin coffee”

you are enough, or: i still have a lot of feelings about theme park rides

Part of what I like so much about theme parks is that you spend the whole day succeeding. Oh, Optimus Prime needs your help getting the AllSpark? No problem. Spider-Man needs your help taking down the Sinister Six? Nailed it! Doctor Doom needs your help harvesting screams to power Latveria? ON IT, DOOM. (For real.Continue reading “you are enough, or: i still have a lot of feelings about theme park rides”