(Mostly because I need to not watch it for the nine billionth time right now. I need to go to bed. Sir Elton help me.) I think what I like so much about Rocketman is how unapologetic it is in its earnestness. In its strange, campy, sparkly sincerity. When the vision of baby-Reggie asks rehab-Elton … Continue reading i want to talk some more about rocketman
queer
i am not throwing away my shots (i think)
Y'all, I'm going to be totally honest: I'm not convinced I did my shot correctly last week and I AM STRESSED ABOUT IT. I'm looking forward to the day my hands don't shake and my heart doesn't race. When I don't wince at all the fresh, red stretchmarks on my belly and just accept my … Continue reading i am not throwing away my shots (i think)
rey (ben), these are your first steps.
I am having all these dreams since the appointment. Sometimes I have the opportunity to say out loud "I am transgender" to my late grandmother and she just hugs me. Sometimes my face contorts in the mirror before my eyes and I look as handsome as Adam Driver. Sometimes I am brave and truly wholly … Continue reading rey (ben), these are your first steps.
leaving hogwarts, part III
(because the song is playing on my Wrapped playlist again and I never have the heart to skip it. thank you, mr. williams.) Here is what no one can take away from me: (No, not those who actively seek to drain me nor those who just unknowingly leech my sparkle.) I am a Hufflepuff. That … Continue reading leaving hogwarts, part III
i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)
CW: struggles with internalized transphobia and low body image. I feel fucking exhausted. My stomach hurts and I feel fucking exhausted. I know I said I wasn't going to do this again for a little while, but when have I ever been the model of restraint? Things hurt today and I want to get it … Continue reading i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)
dani(el)
(This is the last time for a minute, I promise. I think we're all ready for a bit of a break.) I don't know what happens next, but I sure thought about it a lot today. I let myself dream big and loud and happy. I swung for the fucking fences: And now it's time … Continue reading dani(el)
that shines from you (i’ve probably already used that as a title, haven’t it? dammit, dani)
The plays (for now!) are done! Nothing to write but blogs and fics and grad school essays! How am I coping, you might be wondering? Well, I've watched Rocketman three nights in a row, for a starter. Here's the thing: I just... fucking love this movie. I never expected it to hit me the way … Continue reading that shines from you (i’ve probably already used that as a title, haven’t it? dammit, dani)
i’m gay: (just a little thing)
Sort of like a poem, really. Originally posted to Patreon on Halloween 2020: I have spoken it before with uncertainty and fear. Um, I think I might be gay? I have spoken it as an in-advance apology, still figuring things out. I'm really worried I might just be gay. I have whispered it joyfully into … Continue reading i’m gay: (just a little thing)
on halloween costumes
Childhood. Oh, a Disney princess. Fucking every year. No shame, Disney princesses are great. Adolescence. I vividly remember this one Halloween- I think I was 13?- when I decided I HAD TO BE SEXY. A SEXY WITCH. Fuck, how gross is it that 13-year-olds ever feel like they need to be sexy for any reason … Continue reading on halloween costumes
the queer kid power of nicknames
In high school drama, my nickname was "Hero." I didn't really earn it in any meaningful way. Our teacher called attendance that first morning of ninth grade with the instructions: "And if you want to be called by another name... if you want to be, I don't know, Hero or something..." So, when he called … Continue reading the queer kid power of nicknames
july bi, bi, non-bi: here we go again
(I never know if this thing is a declaration or a confessional.) (What I might say to you:) Bi #1: Let me get you caught up. In 2016, I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I have to remind myself all the time that it is an Illness, and not a … Continue reading july bi, bi, non-bi: here we go again
most good things about me came from sailor moon
HERE'S THE NERDIEST THING ABOUT ME: (PROBABLY.) The first time I wrote for the consumption of the Internet was back when I was in either middle school or high school. I had two published short stories and two published poems on a Sailor Moon fan site. YEAH. I WROTE SAILOR MOON FAN POETRY, AND I CANNOT … Continue reading most good things about me came from sailor moon
