(this is what it is, i think:) my heart feels like there's a crack in it. (barf. sorry.) i feel broken, do you know how that feels? do you know how it feels to believe there is something wrong with the very foundation of you? that this thing- this thing that hurts, that bites- goes … Continue reading trying to explain (kind of like a poem)
CW for trauma and suicidal ideation. Go gently, good hearts. I remember almost everything about the day I met the first person I ever loved. It was my second or third rehearsal with the Georgia Renaissance Festival and I was sixteen and excited out of my mind to be PROFESSIONALLY ACTING and I was only … Continue reading the truth is not cowardice
I've cleaned everything. I've Swiffered and dusted and wiped and laundered and lit nice fall-smelling candles and showered and poured a glass of water and chosen the right playlist and put on the comfy sweatshirt and the comfy socks and gotten cozy under the Spider-Man blanket and this is when the words are supposed to … Continue reading again
Remember who you are. (I'm sorry, Mufasa.) (Also: no, YOU'RE watching Disney fireworks on YouTube and crying in your bathrobe. Get it together. [Don't. You're perfect.]) (I miss you. I guess that's usually why I'm here.) For my 31st birthday, my Dad gave me a framed image of Mickey Mouse and a Walt Disney quote: … Continue reading of dreams and courage (again, always)
The sound of dripping woke me up at 2:30 in the morning. See, there is water damage in the ceiling of my fancy new master bathroom, and now there is water slowly, steadily leaking on to my floor. Not much to do about it at 2:30 in the morning besides lie a towel down (honestly, … Continue reading flood warnings
Breathe. This is what I write to myself in my planner lately: Run (ha, sure, we'll see, you sad sack), find a job, figure out your fucking shit, get yourself together, stop being such a waste of space, STOP BEING A FUCKING FAILURE, YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT. Breathe. I cannot. I think I might be … Continue reading i don’t know. i’m sad.
The Renaissance Festival is where I found myself and where I lost myself. There. That’s the dorkiest sentence I’ve ever written. The foundation of my heart and identity is wrapped up in the turkey leg scented, sun scorched, dusty and gravelly hills of a place out of time. Most of my happiest and saddest stories begin … Continue reading random renaissance reptiles