trying to explain (kind of like a poem)

(this is what it is, i think:) my heart feels like there’s a crack in it. (barf. sorry.) i feel broken, do you know how that feels? do you know how it feels to believe there is something wrong with the very foundation of you? that this thing- this thing that hurts, that bites- goesContinue reading “trying to explain (kind of like a poem)”

the truth is not cowardice

CW for trauma and suicidal ideation. Go gently, good hearts. I remember almost everything about the day I met the first person I ever loved. It was my second or third rehearsal with the Georgia Renaissance Festival and I was sixteen and excited out of my mind to be PROFESSIONALLY ACTING and I was onlyContinue reading “the truth is not cowardice”

of dreams and courage (again, always)

Remember who you are. (I’m sorry, Mufasa.) (Also: no, YOU’RE watching Disney fireworks on YouTube and crying in your bathrobe. Get it together. [Don’t. You’re perfect.]) (I miss you. I guess that’s usually why I’m here.) For my 31st birthday, my Dad gave me a framed image of Mickey Mouse and a Walt Disney quote:Continue reading “of dreams and courage (again, always)”

i don’t know. i’m sad.

Breathe. This is what I write to myself in my planner lately: Run (ha, sure, we’ll see, you sad sack), find a job, figure out your fucking shit, get yourself together, stop being such a waste of space, STOP BEING A FUCKING FAILURE, YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT. Breathe.  I cannot. I think I might beContinue reading “i don’t know. i’m sad.”

random renaissance reptiles

The Renaissance Festival is where I found myself and where I lost myself. There. That’s the dorkiest sentence I’ve ever written. The foundation of my heart and identity is wrapped up in the turkey leg scented, sun scorched, dusty and gravelly hills of a place out of time. Most of my happiest and saddest stories beginContinue reading “random renaissance reptiles”