I am having all these dreams since the appointment. Sometimes I have the opportunity to say out loud "I am transgender" to my late grandmother and she just hugs me. Sometimes my face contorts in the mirror before my eyes and I look as handsome as Adam Driver. Sometimes I am brave and truly wholly … Continue reading rey (ben), these are your first steps.
transgender
leaving hogwarts, part III
(because the song is playing on my Wrapped playlist again and I never have the heart to skip it. thank you, mr. williams.) Here is what no one can take away from me: (No, not those who actively seek to drain me nor those who just unknowingly leech my sparkle.) I am a Hufflepuff. That … Continue reading leaving hogwarts, part III
christmas 2021: a fantasy
(just a moment to dream, thank you:) I wake up not in a hotel in Beaverton, Oregon, but in a super-nerdily decorated apartment in Chicago, Iowa City, New York City, somewhere in Rhode Island... It will just be my apartment, for the first time. (Don't ask me how I can afford it on a grad … Continue reading christmas 2021: a fantasy
i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)
CW: struggles with internalized transphobia and low body image. I feel fucking exhausted. My stomach hurts and I feel fucking exhausted. I know I said I wasn't going to do this again for a little while, but when have I ever been the model of restraint? Things hurt today and I want to get it … Continue reading i don’t know. i was sad. (AGAIN)
what it might have been like:
I am thinking tonight of my summer at the Governor's Honors Program. Thinking of how we all spent Field Day sitting together under a tree, talking about movies and about poetry. I am thinking of how sincerely I loved you and how differently it could have been if I'd known. "Daniel," I might have introduced … Continue reading what it might have been like:
on halloween costumes
Childhood. Oh, a Disney princess. Fucking every year. No shame, Disney princesses are great. Adolescence. I vividly remember this one Halloween- I think I was 13?- when I decided I HAD TO BE SEXY. A SEXY WITCH. Fuck, how gross is it that 13-year-olds ever feel like they need to be sexy for any reason … Continue reading on halloween costumes
queer-simodo
(Title courtesy of my dear friend Kati Grace.) Hello, I am intoxicated and I can't stop watching Todrick Hall's "CinderFella"from 2012. My name is Dani and I am gay. (I don't know everything that means yet. I am trying.) When I was in high school, I loved my best friend and didn't know what to … Continue reading queer-simodo
september bi, bi, non-bi: and i think it’s gonna be a long, long time OR: fuck you, j.k. rowling
Originally performed for The Come Up Show ATL's birthday show on Friday September 25, 2020. CW: internalized transphobia and mention of She Who Must Not Be Named. Guard your beautiful heart. Non-bi, and only non-bi this month: Related to absolutely nothing: it’s Mark Hamill’s birthday today and I want to raise a glass for a … Continue reading september bi, bi, non-bi: and i think it’s gonna be a long, long time OR: fuck you, j.k. rowling
